What to expect and how to plan for your first meeting with a family lawyer

Most people facing the prospect of an initial meeting with a family lawyer will be juggling a whole host of emotions and stress.

In family law, the discussions and potential outcomes are deeply personal, so it’s important to work with someone you trust and feel at ease with. Beforehand, research the lawyer’s background and experience in family law. Then during your meeting, assess whether their approach aligns with your needs and expectations. Do they have experience with cases similar to yours? Do they seem empathetic and understanding of your situation?

In this blog post, Stephanie Douthwaite, a family lawyer in our Leeds office, provides some constructive tips to help ensure the meeting goes smoothly and that you get the support and guidance you need.

Identify your goals

Before your meeting, it’s important to clearly identify what you hope to achieve. Articulating this well can help guide the conversation and ensure that you get the most out of your meeting. Be aware though, that your family lawyer may not be able to give you all the answers you want straight away.

Gather relevant documents

The first meeting will not involve an in-depth document review, and you can wait to be guided by your lawyer as to what information and documentation will be relevant to provide afterwards.

However, bring any relevant documents that might help your lawyer to implement any next steps that could be imminent, or original documents that cannot be emailed. For example, your Marriage Certificate if you are looking for your lawyer to start divorce proceedings for you.

If you know a document is very important to your matter and you would have difficulty explaining what it says or means, it could be worth having it available in case your lawyer would be assisted by having a look.

Prepare a list of questions

It may help to write down any specific questions you have for the lawyer. You might want to think about:

What are my legal options, and what are the processes involved?

Ask your lawyer about non-court dispute resolution options. They promote cooperation and communication, which can serve to preserve relationships, and are especially important for separating parents.

There are more non-court options than ever before, but not all lawyers are trained or experienced in using them.

What is the likely outcome of my case?

This is probably weighing heaviest on your mind, though I have to say, mostly we can only give fairly broad advice at the first meeting because a lot depends on various factors. We can give better direction on this as the matter progresses.

What are the potential costs involved?

Your lawyer should be realistic with you; you need to be able to budget. It’s rare to receive a fixed quote, and it may be that the cost estimate given has a broad range because each case is dependent upon evolving circumstances as well as the ongoing attitude of your ex (and yourself!). It’s likely you can help to keep your fees as low as possible – explore this with your lawyer if you are worried. 

What should I do to protect my interests?

Sometimes there are immediate steps that can be taken and this may offer you reassurance. If there are not, it’s important to understand your position.

What approach do you suggest for minimising conflict?

A good family lawyer should have strong negotiation and conflict-resolution skills. They should strive to resolve disputes amicably and efficiently, minimising stress and costs. Ask about the Resolution Code of Practice.

Be Honest and Open

Honesty is crucial when dealing with legal matters. Provide your lawyer with all the relevant facts, even if they are uncomfortable or embarrassing. This transparency will enable your lawyer to give you the best possible advice and representation and rest assured it should be kept confidential.

Avoid these mistakes

Clients can sometimes make mistakes that can have an adverse impact. Here is a quickfire list of common pitfalls to avoid:

Not being honest / withholding relevant information - Your lawyer needs all the facts, even if they don’t serve your aims, to provide the best possible advice and representation.

Letting emotions drive decisions - Family law matters are emotionally charged, but making decisions based on emotions rather than logic and legal advice can be detrimental. We can suggest reputable divorce coaches that can help.

Communicating poorly - This can lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities. Keep your lawyer informed about any changes in your situation and respond promptly to their requests.

Discussing the case publicly - Talking about your case on social media or with friends and family can create complications.

Failing to manage expectations - Understand that legal processes can be complex and outcomes are not always predictable, and never guaranteed. Don’t just hear the parts of the advice that you want to hear.

Neglecting financial planning - Family law cases, especially divorces, can have significant financial implications. We can recommend experienced financial advisers who can work with you and your lawyer holistically. 

Our team of family lawyers are here to help you navigate any family law issues you might have. You can contact me or any of our family lawyers in Leeds, or alternatively our other offices in Cambridge, London, Manchester, Norwich and Oxford.

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